That Was The Week That Was in the USA
In the North American Wild West . . .
Dateline: Las Vegas, Nevada [Carson City is the state capital]
Now the Golden Knights are down 1-3 in the Stanley Cup Finals. A backyard fire spread to three homes causing over $650K in damage. A winning $2 bet on Las Vegas will only recover (500 to 1) $1,000.
Dateline: Hobbs, New Mexico
Catholic Church is investigating reports that a statue or Our Lady of Guadalupe is weeping.
Dateline: Fairbanks, Alaska [ JEW-no is the state capital ]
State animal control have released a plan to reduce the number of fornicating rabbits since their population increased by 1,000%.
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“Let It Be”
Along the North Atlantic Coast . . .
Dateline: Columbia, South Carolina [state capital]
Lottery officials state that Christmas Day winners will not be paid $35 million in prizes because there was a glitch whereby everyone was made a winner.
Dateline: Orono, Maine
A new genetic strain is being released by the University of Maine of a gourmet item, “Pinto Gold.” Speculation is that it tastes more like pinto beans than potatoes.
Dateline: Richmond, Virginia [state capital]
Another month has been given to a commission that is deciding what to do with dozens of Confederate monuments.
Dateline: Sarasota, Florida
The On Eternal Patrol Memorial Reef will be constructed on the ocean floor off the Gulf of Mexico to honor more than 4,000 submarine crewman, who have died since 1900. Critics wonder if the Trump Administration did the math underestimating the total number of human deaths.
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In the American Heartland . . .
Dateline: Oswego, Illinois [ no Chicago is not the state capital ]
The school principal issued a stout apology of a yearbook picture of cheerleaders under a banner headline “No one ugly allowed.”
Dateline: Lansing, Michigan [state capital]
Gasoline prices have risen 32 cents a gallon during the last month. State officials don’t realize that drivers in California have been paying more than $4.00 per gallon for many more months.
Dateline: Cleveland, Tennessee
Feds acknowledged that the did a DEA raid on a family’s home erroneously.
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Elsewhere in the United State of America . . .
Dateline: Grand Junction, Colorado
A local state college – Colorado Mesa University – plans to build a campus specializing in culinary and hospitality programs for $15.7 million or less. Observers wonder why it will be located so far west within the state of Colorado and why it will be situated next to the region’s mental hospital.
copyright MMXVIII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas –
“The San Dailey Sun~Chronicles”